Harkness – MacGillivray Stories

In SWALK, a series of letters give a glimpse to my parents’ relationship during the time my father had a burnt hand after getting injured in a boat accident. To read the full version of the letters, check out SWALK (Interactive version). Getting to the bottom of the story has not been easy for me (and for Gavin), but we finally have the full story. You can read more about how we figured it out on The Burnt Hand Conundrum.

Focusing on the true story, here are two important sources: the photograph of my father with a bandaged burnt hand and an accident report regarding the sinking of the launch “Tanmuir”. “Tanmuir” seems to be also named “Tanmour” and is called a “tender”. It was more or less the same as a “launch”. The “Naval History Homepage” states that the various boats are “in the Clyde.”

My father was stationed at Ardnadam Pier at Dunoon located at Holy Loch, and thus “in the Clyde”. Many boats and ships were docked at the Pier such as the launch/tender Tanmuir/Tanmour. I assume he used the Tanmui Launch as his own ‘personal taxi’ when visiting my mother at Strone around 1941. It seems that he had a car during this period – but petrol was rationed and expensive, whereas, the naval boats would be ‘free’ to use. Apart from saving money, it was probably much quicker. 

The boat accident at Strone

The accident report states that the launch sank on July 24, 1943.

Letter from Rhoda on 3 August 1943 

About ten days after the accident, my mother, who was living at 2 Chesser Loan in Edinburgh, wrote a letter to my father at Cowal Hospital, where he was being treated for burns.

She seems to be more concerned with ‘domestic’ matters than our father’s injury, and even warns him not to get too ‘frisky’ with the nurses! This also indicates that his injuries were not that serious, but nevertheless had to be treated, possibly to avoid infection or permanent scarring.  

Letter from Rhoda on August 10, 1943

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Dear Alex,

I waited very patiently this morning on the post hoping to receive word from you but no such luck. I hope your arm is steadily improving – I’m longing to see you again darling, so I hope it won’t be long now – it seems such a long time since Friday, especially since I have received no news of you;  it is like groping in the dark – I do hope you are progressing.

I returned from Glasgow yesterday, as I said I would. Also, I thought of going to see you Sunday, but thought I’d better not, as the steamer would probably be busy. I managed my case alright – the Old Man helped me to the station; when I arrived to Princess Street a young man in my carriage helped me carry my case to a taxi. So I had little to no trouble at all. Mother Riley is just the same old spud. She thinks you will go to Scotia Street on your way home, but please yourself. 

I nearly had Violet plonked on me coming back, but I used the excuse that although we weren’t going to Eigg we might go to Rosyth for the weekend (what a hope!). Besides, I know you would like the place to ourselves for a little while anyway. I wonder if you could do me a favour. Remember the shoes that you bought that were too heavy for you. I wonder if you could give them to Donald?

You know fine that you’ll never wear them. His feet are in such a state! He has only half a shoe on one of his feet! He has no coupons left. I hate to think of my brother going out such a sight. It looks so pitiful! Please darling! 

Our little Sandy is behaving himself at times, but I think he needs a father’s hand at his backend to help him on his way, so hurry home my pet! 

I’m feeling alright. I was a little sick today, but I’m feeling grand now. I don’t know, but it’s just like fate. Do you realize all the good times you have missed!? I’m supposed to be coming on for the third month, and you have missed all that. I hope I’m not rubbing it in too much. However, there is plenty of time left, so hurry home! Well darling, I have no more news only requests. 

Let me know how you are keeping and when you will be home. Did your friend, the sub-lieutenant, get away last Saturday? If so, I hope you’re not too lonely darling. I hope the nurses are treating you well, and the Sister is more agreeable.

 Well darling I still love you best in the world.  Hope you love me too! Kisses and big hugs from mummy and baby Sandy. Yours always, lots of kisses!

The letter makes some other interesting points. Amongst other things, about the plan to travel to the Isle of Eigg which never materialized. Also, my Uncle Donald is wandering around Glasgow with half a shoe on one of his feet! This is a good example of the strict rationing during World War Two. 

On a later letter, they mentioned my father coming back after a few weeks since this letter, which I estimated would indicate a less than a month of hospital stay.

Corporal punishment

In this letter, my mother also writes that her one-year old son Sandy needs “a father’s hand at his backend to help him on his way.”

It seems that she does not like to physically punish her own children, perhaps due to the fact that her own mother regularly whipped her with a tawse. But in this letter she is urging her husband to smack her child when he returns home. Of course, this might seem ‘metaphorical’ and innocent in this letter. However, it laid the foundation for the physical abuse of me and my brothers by my father over the next twenty-five years. I think my younger brother was exempt from this punishment regime, as my father at a later age ‘calmed down’.

In other words, my father was given the role of ‘punisher’ by my mother. Of course, this was perfectly ‘normal’ at the time. I

/n 2023, physically abusing children is deemed as a crime, and can even be punished by a jail sentence in the more progressive countries. She also mentions in this letter that she is pregnant with her second son, my brother Stuart.

Letter from Alex when he was in hospital

Key words: “I came out of hospital.” “Will it be a girl”?

Letter from Rhoda on 18 August 1943

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As mentioned before, most of my mother’s letters addressed from 2 Chesser Loan are written on specially addressed paper (the address is printed). She mentions in another letter that she had ordered this special writing paper.  

My mother’s writing seems now to be worse than my father’s! So the only sense I can make of the first page is that she is complaining! Comically, she remarks: “as per usual there was no date on it” (the letter). I have to agree with my mother here; my father refuses to write a date on his letters and is nearly always diffuse. This fact makes things difficult for me as a ‘family historian’!

My father has written that he will visit her but has not been specific, so my poor mother has waited for him to turn up but has been disappointed. “It will soon be six weeks since you were home last” (Pages 3-4). This is perhaps an unfair complaint, because he has been in the hospital for some of this time! 

“I think you just want a girl for vanity’s sake. ‘He man’ and all that talk. Well yes darling I think two children will ….. “ My mother is certainly telling my father what she thinks of him in this letter! Several letters comment on my father’s wish to have a daughter, which is something he must have communicated to his work colleagues because when I was born, one of them wrote a poem satirising this point—that he only had sons.